Wööraste Wanemate Mötteteri

*(On my way to my first day of college, my dad hands me an aspirin)
Dad: 'Birth control; just hold between your knees and squeeze'*
Minu kommentaar: Geniaalne. Lissalt geniaalne.

*(Randomly walking into my room.)
Dad: 'Sex is better than belly dancing!'
(Walks away.)*

*Dad: 'You should keep your virginity until you're 25 and sell it for five million dollars. I saw a girl do that on TV.'*

*(After giving me a sling shot)
Dad: 'If you break a window, you run. And for the love of god, don't come back here.'*

*Mother: 'Stop clipping your nails short! How else are they suppose to find your killer's DNA if you are murdered?'*

*Mom: 'Remember this very important thing, when you're high, stop smoking. You won't get higher, you'll just have less weed.'*

*Mom: 'No drugs, no alcohol, no boys, and no throwing wild parties.'
Dad: 'And no kung-fu.'*
Minu kommentaar: 'Y U NO let me do kung-fu???'

*Dad: 'Happy 14th birthday, sweetheart.'
Me: 'Dad, I'm 17.'
Dad: 'No, you are not. I am going to keep putting 14 candles on this cake for as long as you live, so you can never grow up and have sex with boys in cars.'*
Minu kommentaar: Kas sellepärast ei ole minu koogi peal jubba mitu viimast aastat üldse küünlaid?

*Mom: 'What's going to happen when you go to bed with a boy and he sees your socks don't match?'
Dad: 'If they're in bed and he's looking at her sock, she has bigger problems.'*

*Mom: 'Don't eat ice cream, you're sick! Have a beer instead.'*
Minu kommentaar: Pole middagi paremat kui hella emakese kokku segatud kuum mustasõstrasiirup Rigas Balzams'iga...

*Me: 'How am I supposed to pay for college?'
Mom: 'Well you could always strip your way through college.'*

*Mom: 'Drink as much as you want, sugar. Pretty girls do not throw up.'*
Minu kommentaar: 'YOU STUPID WOMAN!'

*Mom: 'Don't be shy,whenever you need a condom, just go and ask your father. He has a lot.'*

*Mom: 'Learn the rules so you can break them properly.'*
Minu kommentaar: Kusagil on keegi ema, kes mõtleb minu vanematega sama moodi.

 Inspiratsioon: http://parenting.failblog.org/


Paipai
Kribu

Hoihoihoi.

Pole kaua aega postitust teinud. Põhjuseks on alanut kool ja elu. Kihutan poseerimiste ja loengute vahel, suutsin ennast nifferdada tugiisikuks ja laupäeviti olen ka antiigipoes. Täna magasin küll veidi valusalt sisse, kuid pole hullu, wötsin 2 eurot wähem palka, wast ei tapeta.
Üritan enda kehaga taas kontakti saada, kihutan vahel tsikliga mööda linna, Motohundi logoga helkurvest seljas ja teen veidraid manöövreid (vabandust!).
Priidik ja õppesöidud on paremad kui psühholoog. Tegelikult ma wörrelda ei suuda, kuna psühholoogid, kellega kontakti wötsin, ei soostunud mulle kohtumist registreerima. Siuke suvi. Inimesel kriis ja abi ka ei saa. Kurat.


Otsisin ka paar kena pilti minust.
In case you want to see.

Paipai
Kribu

Ounou...

Kool hakkas. Aina rohkem wöib mind näha Tartus ja pigem sellisena:

Alates 4. septembrist wöite pildile lisada ühe halli ja triibulise kasslooma. That's life.

Paipai
Kribu