Wööraste Wanemate Mötteteri

*(On my way to my first day of college, my dad hands me an aspirin)
Dad: 'Birth control; just hold between your knees and squeeze'*
Minu kommentaar: Geniaalne. Lissalt geniaalne.

*(Randomly walking into my room.)
Dad: 'Sex is better than belly dancing!'
(Walks away.)*

*Dad: 'You should keep your virginity until you're 25 and sell it for five million dollars. I saw a girl do that on TV.'*

*(After giving me a sling shot)
Dad: 'If you break a window, you run. And for the love of god, don't come back here.'*

*Mother: 'Stop clipping your nails short! How else are they suppose to find your killer's DNA if you are murdered?'*

*Mom: 'Remember this very important thing, when you're high, stop smoking. You won't get higher, you'll just have less weed.'*

*Mom: 'No drugs, no alcohol, no boys, and no throwing wild parties.'
Dad: 'And no kung-fu.'*
Minu kommentaar: 'Y U NO let me do kung-fu???'

*Dad: 'Happy 14th birthday, sweetheart.'
Me: 'Dad, I'm 17.'
Dad: 'No, you are not. I am going to keep putting 14 candles on this cake for as long as you live, so you can never grow up and have sex with boys in cars.'*
Minu kommentaar: Kas sellepärast ei ole minu koogi peal jubba mitu viimast aastat üldse küünlaid?

*Mom: 'What's going to happen when you go to bed with a boy and he sees your socks don't match?'
Dad: 'If they're in bed and he's looking at her sock, she has bigger problems.'*

*Mom: 'Don't eat ice cream, you're sick! Have a beer instead.'*
Minu kommentaar: Pole middagi paremat kui hella emakese kokku segatud kuum mustasõstrasiirup Rigas Balzams'iga...

*Me: 'How am I supposed to pay for college?'
Mom: 'Well you could always strip your way through college.'*

*Mom: 'Drink as much as you want, sugar. Pretty girls do not throw up.'*
Minu kommentaar: 'YOU STUPID WOMAN!'

*Mom: 'Don't be shy,whenever you need a condom, just go and ask your father. He has a lot.'*

*Mom: 'Learn the rules so you can break them properly.'*
Minu kommentaar: Kusagil on keegi ema, kes mõtleb minu vanematega sama moodi.

 Inspiratsioon: http://parenting.failblog.org/


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